Some things in life make you scratch your head and say, “Huh?” It’s either brilliant marketing because the more annoying the message the more you remember it, or it’s just plain stupid. There are times I think it’s a bit of both.

For instance, why does PlayDoh make kits like “Magic Swirl Ice Cream Shoppe”? The target audience for such a toy is 3-5 years old. How many of those kids have younger siblings in the same household? How many of those 1-2 year olds think the ice cream is real and tries to eat it? Sheesh.

One of the more asinine commercials I endure on television is the Aflack duck. The commercials are stupid and the duck’s quacking makes me cringe. But hey . . . I remember it. It reminds me of Quizno’s attempt at humor in 2003 when they aired the “Were you raised with wolves” commercial. It featured a young Jim Parsons (from the Big Bang Theory) reminiscing about nursing a mother wolf with the rest of her cubs. It was sick then. It’s still sick today. Thankfully, they yanked it due to a flood of protests.

Let’s not forget telemarketers. We all know they follow a script even down to the cheery, fake greeting. If they practiced a more sincere approach rather than used car salesman tactics, people might find their spiel more believable.

Worse of the worse . . . and this REALLY annoys me . . . is the bank branch employees. I used to work at Wells Fargo. I’m well aware of their sales quota expectations they force on their employees which are often unreasonable. Why can’t I go into the branch to make a deposit without being approached multiple times with product upsells? It starts at the door, continues at the counter. And if the teller isn’t pitching, one of the personal bankers is there to make sure I’m aware of how badly I need to upgrade my checking account. The absurdity of this scenario hit me full force when I moved to a new state and switched my accounts over to a local branch. Two weeks later, I was told by a teller that my checking account was obsolete and I needed to meet with a personal banker to discuss options. When I explained that I had met with that same personal banker two weeks ago and she was the person who signed me up for the “obsolete” account, the poor woman’s mouth dropped open. Then the counter manager came over to salvage what had become an uncomfortable conversation in front of a room full of customers. If Wells Fargo would concentrate more on customer service instead of intrusive sales tactics, they might discover more receptive customers when their personal bankers when  suggest products.

Let’s move on to the grocery store. Why do hot dogs contain ten to a package but buns have eight? This question has been around longer than “which came first, the chicken or the egg?” Why is the calorie/carb/sugar content of many candy bars hidden under a flap? Duh? That’s a no brainer.

Why does the price of gasoline go up the minute a natural disaster or increase in oil hits the news? The existing gasoline in the holding tanks was bought at the cheaper rate. Yet let the price of oil go down and Main Street America won’t see an impact at the pump for months. And why aren’t our politicians doing something about the blatant price gouging? Ummmm . . . okay, another no brainer. Let’s just file that one under deep pockets.

I could go on and on but all this negativity is really bringing me down. I think next time I’ll blog about what makes me happy.

Complaining. Yes, that would be at the top of the list.