Who Wears the Tighty Whities in Your Novel?

I posted this blog at New Kids on the Writers Block a few months ago. It generated a few laughs so I’m reposting here. Enjoy.

I’ve mentioned the eight hero archetypes and advocated knowing your personality type before beginning the rough draft of your manuscript. It’s essential to get acquainted with who you’re writing about and what motivates them.

We all know that the CHIEF is a take charge kind of guy. The BAD BOY is passionate and reckless. The BEST FRIEND is there to help out. The one you can turn to when the chips are down. The CHARMER is a playboy with hidden layers. He knows how to schmooze but never underestimate him. Think Bond, James Bond or Castle. The LOST SOUL is the wounded hero who dreams of a better life but hesitates to believe it’s possible. The PROFESSOR is an analytical, solutions based authority who may lack social skills. The SWASHBUCKLER i.e.Captain Jack Sparrow (my personal hero and fantasy heartthrob)…an adventurer who sometimes fails to stop and smell the roses. And finally, the WARRIOR, a hero with chutzpah who can swing a sword to protect his lady love or slice her heart in two.

That being said, there’s more to a hero than personality style. What REALLY lies beneath the surface? Or, in this case, beneath the breeches, designer suit, jeans, wetsuit, shorts, or pajama bottoms? These days men enjoy as many choices for underwear as women, and what they are wearing goes a long way toward tapping the reader’s emotions when you undress that sexy hunk.

The CHIEF must certainly wear boxers. They are loose, functional, comfortable and aren’t a distraction while making important decisions. Yet, when push comes to shove, the silk fabric exudes his desire for excellence and drapes perfectly over a commanding performance.

The BAD BOY could care less what he looks like, and therefore wears nothing. You must take him “as is” because he likes being a rebel. Besides, the rough friction of denim on bare skin is almost foreplay for this rule breaker.

The BEST FRIEND is steadfast. He’ll always choose substance and longevity over silly fads. Give this man a pair of good cotton boxers in a no nonsense solid and he’ll be happy to stand by your side for as long as you need him. All night, if necessary.

The CHARMER….what can I say? His undergarment apparel will no doubt reflect the taste of his latest conquest. Whether he’s wearing a thong, silk boxers, body briefs, or none of the above, you can be sure his decision was part of a carefully calculated plan to pierce the defenses of his prey.

The LOST SOUL wears boxers, probably worn thread bare from years of use, but he doesn’t care. On the surface, he resists baring his soul. Sheathing himself in a hard as granite protective armor keeps his heart safe. But underneath, this emotionally damaged man craves the deep, penetrating relationship that will ignite his reason for living.

The PROFESSOR is a tighty whitey kind of guy. He wore tighty whities as a kid…why change the style now?  No nonsense, no interest in what others think. They’re clean, they fit in all the right places, you add bleach in the wash to keep them white, there’s a flap for Mr. Happy to rear his shiny head. What else does one need?

The SWASHBUCKLER can choose one of two styles. He wears a thong, using it as a worthy sheath for his mighty blade, or chooses a body brief because it hugs his body like a glove, cloaking and protecting his weapon while alerting his adversary to its power and strength.

Finally, the WARRIOR…never go to battle without armor for your soldier. His boxer brief molds perfectly to his body like a second skin. Just the sight of this majestic sportsman has made more than  one competitor whimper and surrender.

And now I ask you…what is YOUR hero wearing?

Tami D. Cowden, Caro LaFever, Sue Viders
Lone Eagle Publishing Co.